Reader Question:

This guy and I are talking for three years. We have never been in a relationship but have been close on a number of events.

Recently I planned to pursue a connection. He got crazy at me personally and told me he’s not prepared. He stopped conversing with myself for a few months. I informed him providing all of our relationship will last, a relationship is certainly not vital.

Do you think he’ll actually transform? Do I need to hold out for him?

-Shakia (Massachusetts)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Solution:

Dear Shakia,

He will probably perhaps not change if you remain the same. All his needs are being met right here. He’s no reason at all to go into an enchanting connection if he is able to get every benefits without having to make.

The guy actually tried you by cutting off communication for a few weeks. While arrived operating back into retain the old, unfulfilling friendship.

My personal guidance: Tell him plainly as he’s willing to have a real, committed, romantic relationship, he should call you, but before this, you’re unavailable.

Subsequently don’t get weakened and let him draw you back to the existing program. No texting. No contacting. No Facebook stalking.

My impression so is this isn’t the guy for your family, but this relationship is actually somehow maintaining you from satisfying a truly great guy.

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